It's Springtime in Phoenix!

We survived the cold, dark winter that hits Phoenix.  Ha!  I apologize for the sarcasm if you are reading this from a place that actually does get hit by cold dark winters.  But we deserve some amazing weather at least part of the year since we endure some crazy miserably hot summers.  March is my favorite time of year in Phoenix.  The mornings are crisp, the afternoons are in the 80s, and the citrus blossoms are ripe and heavenly-scented wherever you go.  

We have been enjoying the weather by having a few picnics and taking lots of trips to the park.  

This next photo just cracks me up.....It's important to go to the park with your pink purse and your puppy. :)

Look Daddy! A dandelion!!!!!

In other news, Kathryn was very sick recently.  She had RSV, but after a very scary weekend of hearing her struggle to breathe, we managed to stay out of the hospital and battle through with only the home breathing treatments.  She still has a nasty cough, but in comparison, she's a million times better.  It was the most scared I've ever been as a mom. I slept on the floor of her room next to her crib because I was just terrified I wouldn't hear her if she got really bad overnight and couldn't breathe.  She had this glassy-eyed, pink, dazed look to her all day long, and just clung to me or laid her head pitifully on my chest.  So sad.  But now she is back to herself, and her spunky little personality is here again! 

Yesterday was Rich's birthday.  We celebrated with a nice low-key dinner at home.  I made Rich's favorite--Stir-fry Spicy Cashew Chicken for dinner and Alex helped me sing Happy Birthday.  We had family over for a visit this past weekend.  

Alex had her first swim lesson today.  We talked it up for the past few days, and she was SO excited to go today.  She kept telling me, "I'm gonna go SWIMMING!!!!!"  But then we got there, and she realized I wasn't going in the water with her, and she completely freaked out. (They have the parents wait in an observation room because the students tend to learn better when they are alone with the instructors.) She screamed bloody murder and cried the ENTIRE 30 minutes of the class.  But I couldn't believe that she complied with the little activities and lessons (jumping in the water, kicking her legs, swinging her arms) all while crying and sobbing "I WANT MY MOMMMMMMMMMMY!"  She climbed over the edge of the pool a couple times and took off running, and the instructor had to run and catch her.  Once, she came up to the glass observation window and plastered her red face to it, crying "MOMMMMMY, come and get me, I don't want to swim!!" It was heart breaking!! But when the class was over, I came around the corner, and she beamed up at me with her tear-stained, blotchy face, but with the biggest smile, and said "That was SO fun!" I couldn't believe it.  She was so proud of herself for jumping into the water, and she couldn't stop talking about it all night.  After dinner, we asked her if she was looking forward to another swim lesson, and she looked at us with a very serious face, and said, "No, that's ok.  Just one day is good.  I'll be fine." Ha!

Sister Loving

I always wanted a sister when I was growing up.  I'm sure I imagined it to be much more starry-eyed and best-friend-like than it is in many cases, but still.

But one great thing about having kids is you get to re-do your own life through them. HA! (Harvard, here we come?!) I kid, I kid. But seriously, I am truly enjoying the view as I look down on my two little girls who are so loving with each other (yes, I KNOW that won't last longer than another month or two, but don't rain on my parade!).

For now, I see the big sister that Alex has become, and my heart just swells with pride.  She is attentive, caring, and loves that baby sister with all her heart.  It is a beautiful thing for this only child (me) to witness. And Kathryn--well, Kat's favorite person in the world is Alex.  From the day we brought her home from the hospital, she has been following her big sister's every action with her eyes, and her face  brightens even at the sound of Alex's voice coming from another room.  She sits, playing with toys, (before recently becoming mobile) hoping that Alex will join her for a moment.  And when Alex obliges, Kathryn starts giggling and bopping her head, just soaking up the undivided attention.

I feel like this is such a short-lived, beautiful moment in time.  I know the day is right around the corner when Kathryn is going to become more intrusive into Alex's toys and playtime, which will cause bickering and conflict.  I know Alex is going to be growing more independent and less interested in rolling the ball to her baby sister every night after dinner.  I wish I could freeze these moments.  The camera will have to do.

Kathryn on the Move!

Kathryn started crawling a couple weeks ago, just days before she turned 10 months old.  And wouldn't you know what made her crawl? Her loving dad? Nope. Mom? Not a chance.  OH yes, it was the remote control.  Because that (and the cell phone) are pretty much the coolest things in the house, worth struggling over, worth learning how to coordinate the chubby knees and hands into a not-so-graceful shuffle.  One day she couldn't crawl, stuck in one spot in the middle of the living room, surrounded by toys, and the next day, she was ALL. OVER. the place! And yes, even though our life has suddenly entered a whole new level of complication, (baby proofing all over again) I'm so excited for her newfound freedom and sense of exploration.  So is Alex.  She keeps following her around, and sometimes she points and says "Look Mommy! Kathryn is under the table!!!"

She is more than a little proud of herself.

LOGIN Correct

I just wanted to see if I still remembered my User Name and Password for this account! Ha! Yep.

Things are wonderful and busy.  LIFE. IS. GOOD.

Here are the girls' Valentine's Day Cards.  Every holiday (even the silly commercial Hallmark Holidays) is so much better through the eyes of children.  Alex was really excited for school.  She decorated her own Valentine's Mailbox and all of the kids exchanged cards.  I like that the school asked parents not to bring candy.  It forced us to get a little more creative.  She received temporary tattoos, stickers, erasers and bubbles.  We brought little swirly heart straws.

Kathryn is almost 10 months old.  She is *almost* crawling.  She scoots on her bottom and bends to reach things.  She loves standing (while holding onto something).  She says "DaDa" and "MaMa."  She has two teeth on the bottom.  And she is really coming into her own personality lately.  We enjoy her so much.  She and Alex have started playing together lately, and it gives us a preview of the future when (hopefully?) they become best buddies.  

Other than that, work is great, family & friends are great, and I'm trying to balance it all.  I'm hoping to keep up with the blog again, because I really do cherish the ability to look back on it and see what our family was doing.  Life is speeding by at a crazy pace.  I love it. :)

Accidentally on hiatus

I must apologize for the lack of blogging lately.  It's not that I don't have anything to say, it's that I just don't have the time to say it! I have been busy with life, loving on my hubby and girls, working, photographing, and just trying to stay sane.  Life is good.

Alex and Kathryn are both doing great.  We moved them back to the old daycare that is close to my work territory (but far from our house) and it was the right decision.  Although it is inconveniently located, we feel completely at ease with the people caring for our children, and Alex is being challenged and enriched on a daily basis.  She is so excited to go to "school" and she runs through the hallways to get to her classroom, happily screaming her teachers' names.  When I pick her up at the end of the day, she yells to her friends, "BYE BUDDIES!" and to her teachers, "I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH!!!!"  Even after eight weeks at the other daycare, she cried every single time I left her.  We are so happy with the move.

Kathryn is really coming into her own lately.  She is able to sit upright without support for a bit, she loves her exersaucer, and she is absolutely enamored with her big sister.  Alex can make her bust into a fit of belly laughs just by looking at her and saying "Hi Baby Kat!!!!" It is hilarious and heart-warming.

Alex's favorite things lately are Snow White, Snow White, and more Snow White. Which is really funny, because I'm truly not a fan of the "princess culture." I don't want to raise my girls to be princesses.  I hope they are intelligent, strong women who create their own destiny.  The Disney Princess culture teaches girls that they should wait for Prince Charming, rely on their beauty, and simply exist in society as an object to gaze upon.  So NOT what I want them to learn.  Yet, here we are, at only 2+ years old, and Alex is OBSESSED with all things princess.  Obviously I haven't gone out of my way to shield her from it, and I really don't worry that she will learn all of her life-lessons from the Disney movies, but isn't it odd how it has infiltrated our culture so much!  But enough about that.  I have a Snow White costume to  purchase! *wink, wink*

Other things that Alex loves are Play Dough, cooking with me in the kitchen, and playing outside.  She is definitely still her strong-willed self, and things have been very trying lately with tantrums and fits.  She screamed bloody murder in the grocery store checkout line today for NO REASON! I have no idea what upset her, but there was no calming her down.  I could not get out of there fast enough; it was pretty embarrassing.  Let's just say the time-out corner has been visited frequently in our house lately.    

I celebrated a birthday yesterday.  I took the day off work and spent a wonderful day with my mom and the girls at the pool and Rich spoiled me with a fancy dinner out last night.  He even arranged for the babysitter!

AliKat Photography is booming with business.  I'm limiting my photoshoots to one a week so that I don't take away much time from my precious family, but I'm booked out for eight weeks!  I'm even starting to get some paid gigs! Fun stuff! More than anything, I am just absolutely loving the creative fulfillment that it gives me.  It is the perfect balance between my day job and my creative side.  And I am learning so much with every single shoot.  The more I do it, the more I realize how much of a novice I am, and how much I still need to learn!  I am sure that I will be so embarrassed of these early images that I have taken in a few years, but how will I ever improve if I don't jump in and make my mistakes?!
 

Now introducing....

Well, I don't mess around.  One week ago, I decided to really do it.  And I did!

I'm so excited!  I have been so sick this week, with a cold turned sinus-infection, turned chest nastiness, but it doesn't even matter, I'm still on a high because I am doing something new and exciting and creative!

My new business is called.....drumroll please........... AliKat Photography! After I posted my offer to do free photoshoots, I quickly became completely booked for the month of September, and I'm filling up October too.  I have a maternity shoot, 2 newborn shoots, an engagement shoot, a 1 year old shoot and a family shoot.......Woohoo! I am not sure how I am going to fit all of this into my schedule, but we will make it work.  I'm planning photo shoots for Sundays, when Rich has off,  and luckily it is football season now, so it's not like we would be spending time together anyhow, since I become a football widow from now until Super Bowl.

And though people are reluctant to do photosessions with me for completely free, it really is a win-win.  I am going to build up a portfolio and gain invaluable experience while they sacrifice their time (and probably patience).

The name AliKat comes from the source of my photography inspiration, my two girls.  I got my first DSLR over 5 years ago, and have loved photography for nearly all of my life.  But my passion for photography really took off after the birth of Alex (Ali) and has continued to grow after the birth of Kathryn (Kat).  AliKat is the perfect representation of why I love photography---it's about making those memorable life moments last forever.

Taking the Leap

For quite some time now, I have been struggling with a decision about my photography hobby.  I have loved photography for the better part of five years, but despite some encouragement from friends and family, I have been very resistant to developing it into a business.

There are a few reasons for this:

• The first and biggest reason is lack of confidence.  I recognize that I am still learning.  I am a perfectionist at heart, and I cannot bear the idea of putting myself out there and not feeling like I am the very best at it.  I can critique every single picture that I have ever taken.  But when it is for my own personal enjoyment, and for the walls of our home, it doesn't matter that I have flaws.  Charging people money for a talent that is still growing just doesn't feel right to me. 

• I am worried about turning something that I love into a chore.  As it stands right now, photography is my outlet.  It brings me joy and happiness, and I never dread taking photos.  Never.  But what happens if I have to take photos in order to pay the electric bill, buy groceries and clothe my children? Will I begin to dread it?  Will I think of it as a JOB?  It would be a great sadness to lose the joy that photography brings to me.  

• It's mine.  Similar to my piano, I have a tendency to keep things that I cherish close to my heart.  I took piano lessons for 12 years before I played in ONE piano recital.  And the one recital that I did was for my 92-year-old Romanian classical piano teacher because it was my last year with him, and he begged me.  (And he was the cutest man, my Mr. Grabow, I just couldn't say no to him!) I hated being the center of attention, sitting by myself at that piano, with all the eyes on me.  It's not a stage-fright thing, it's a "I-don't-want-to-share-what's-mine-with-you-thing."  Pretty selfish huh? :) 

• I'm scared.  I am not a risk-taker.  I like salaried jobs with 401Ks and benefits.  I like guaranteed paychecks.  I like to plan 6 months from now and know that I will be able to afford X dollars to spend at Christmas.  Running a business is the opposite of this mentality.

But I was reading from one of my favorite books, Conversations with God, and I came across a quote that spoke to my heart.  It is a quote that I have loved and come back to many times, but sometimes you can come across something that you see every day, and suddenly it speaks to you.

If you think your life is about doingness, you do not understand what you are about. Your soul doesn't care what you do for a living--and when your life is over, neither will you. Your soul cares only about what you are being while you're doing whatever you're doing. It is a state of beingness the soul is after, not a state of doingness.


And I realized that my soul is not pursuing this state of beingness.  I have been pursuing a state of doingness for awhile now.  So I am thinking about taking that leap and pursuing my photography as a business.  Because even though photography is just a different thing to be "doing," I know how my heart feels while I am doing it.  It is that state of "beingness" that I need.

And no, I'm not quitting my day job! I still need to pay the bills too. :)

So.  I need experience!  Lots and lots of experience.  Before I take a single dollar, I want to have loads of photos of families and babies, and couples and kids (and not just my own!).  Who wants free photos?